Thanks to reader LD for passing this on -- and I have to admit it's pretty funny. A Hater's Guide to Curling: The 2013 Roar of the Rings is a look at the Canadian Olympic Trials from the blog Carrie Hunt and the Spoonerisms (if you don't know what a spoonerism is, look it up and then Carrie Hunt will make sense).
This is a lengthy look at the teams along with some predictions for the competition from someone who obviously knows a lot about what's going on but relates it to people who probably don't (FakeCCA?).
There are some funny descriptions of players such as:
Jennifer Jones: The biggest team in women's curling over the past decade. Also one of the most beloved. Also one of the most intensely hated. Jennifer can't help it. She's the fucking Lebron of women's curling.
Kevin Martin looks like: Officer Lahey going through meth withdrawal
What Brad Jacobs gave Northern Ontario curling fans: Before Brad Jacobs taught them to be proud of their curlers, Northern Ontarians just spent their days mining for nickel, getting drunk in Tim Hortons parking lots listening to BTO.
John Morris, complete with a link to some weird web site: Johnny Mo is the hunkiest man in curling. Look at him, working out! Look at him here, featured on some sort of gay hunk admiration website! God, he's handsome. Not a bad curler, either.
It's worth a read if you want something a little off the wall.
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